Family Council Meeting

July 7, 2009
This week was a little different, because Dani is leaving for Washington D.C. tomorrow. She is starting her job in a few weeks, and needs time to get organized in her new apartment. So, we planned to meet grandma and grandpa for lunch today. Dani chose Di Pescaro, and then Anat and Sevonne joined us too, which made it into a party.
I thought Dani already had her security clearance for the Department of Transportation and Security, which is her first client from Deloitte, but she explained to us that she had finished filling the lengthy forms but won’t hear back from them for a while. The G’s came late, so Sevonne waited until they arrive to tell stories about the Hindi/Philippine wedding she attended in Michigan this past weekend. She had a beautiful sari made, and all the friends wore them, but they needed help in tying them in the special way. Her hand was still painted in swirls from the Henna ceremony, which she absolutely loved. She said the food was amazing, and there were four parties, each with a different theme and for a different purpose. The one thing Sevonne did not enjoy was the two hours of speeches at the actual wedding.
We talked about our custom of doing those long speeches and toasts at the rehearsal dinner. Dani commented that we probably talk about weddings more than most families, even though no one even has a boyfriend. I thought it was good to talk about, so that everyone is clear about expectations and even has an understanding about what is good or bad about the different ways of putting on these events. Becky brought up the idea of a destination wedding in good old Colorado Springs, an idea Grandma did not like.
Gabie was with us for lunch, and hardly spoke, except that when Grandpa told him he should come to the Banner Family Council meeting, he immediately said that he had plans to go to Nickel City. We all laughed a lot throughout the meal, and I started feeling sad that these days of hanging out with all three of my children are no longer going to be easy to arrange now that Dani is moving to D.C.
Today was the family council meeting, at Pete Miller’s in Wheeling. David was in charge of organizing it, and he had already sent out an agenda and a worksheet for the kids to fill out with ideas about their own values and what values we as a family should hold. Just when we were about to leave for the lunch meeting, Gabie asked for a ride to Northbrook Court to meet his friends and go to a movie. Later in the day, the Cohen girls expressed surprise that I allowed it, because their mother never let them hang out at a mall. I said that was funny because I’m pretty sure I remember Janet spending a lot of time with different groups of girls hanging out at Old Orchard.
So, we started with imitations; whoever did the best imitation of a family member got a prize. Anat had a few not friendly-spirited imitations of Janet and me, but Matt won with a brilliant monologue in which he slipped from one person to the next, ending with an impression of Joe, who often puts his head down on the table and goes to sleep at family events. He won the Starbucks gift card that Emily tried to steal as they were leaving.
David had everyone talk about our values as a family, and divided us into groups to remember incidents that displayed values we want to emphasize. First though, he sent Grandma and Grandpa home, because our family business consultant, Joe Atrachan, who has very white teeth in his faculty picture, told us that this is the best way to have a meeting. Grandma was not happy with the arrangement and had to be told several times that it was Joe’s idea, not David’s. In any case, they ended up having to leave because Grandma had an appointment.
In talking about the second generation, and how the younger cousins don’t really feel a part of everything, Cindy suggested that the big cousins call the little ones on occasion. The big cousins have these cousins’ dinners, and Sevonne spoke for the group in saying that it has been a huge bonding experience and that all their friends are jealous about all the fun the cousins have together.
We talked about the idea of the next council meeting, should we have another family vacation, should it be a lunch? David appointed different people to research things like where our charitable donations should go, where we should next meet and other family oriented questions.
Once again, there was a lot of laughter, and a lot of good eating (although they didn’t love the restaurant as much as others).