November 18, 2008
Last week Anat was with us for lunch at PF Chang’s, because she had just finished finals and there was a short break. Her goal was to stop thinking during that break, which was hard for her after all that constant study. I think Anat told stories about medical school, but Grandma was sitting across from me and she kept chatting so that I couldn’t hear what Anat was saying at the other end of the table. I brought extra Advair disks for Marty because two of the kids use it. Our friend Henry Danko, who used to be Grandma Weiss’s doctor, gave me a box of samples, and I shared them with Janet, Milton, and now Marty. Thee food was good, and the dessert was a giant piece of chocolate cake big enough to share between the six of us.
Today, Janet, Milton, Marty, and I had lunch with Grandpa at Stir Crazy. Marty started complaining immediately, because he much prefers an eggy kind of place, but Janet had complained earlier about how awful Eggshell Café is….something is wrong, she thinks, about the way they prepare the food. I think she suspects the cleanliness of the kitchen. So we had some discussion about where to meet next week, when some of the college kids will be around.
Grandpa has a big bandage smack across his forehead, which invites conversation. Turns out he got it on the edge of his car door when he turned around without noticing the door was still there and open. Marty, luckily, bandaged him up. We spoke a bit about how glad we all were that he now has a driver, and no car of his own. Grandma seems to think that he will lease a new car when the winter is over, but all four of us sat there and echoed each other’s relief that Grandpa is not driving.
I said I’d actually used Mark, the driver, to help me on Monday when both Becky’s and David’s cars were dead; one had to be towed, the other jump-started. I needed a ride to pick up Becky’s car from the mechanic (Kenny), and it was great to have someone like that to call. Even though Grandpa shares the driver with Julie Dann’s father, Charlie, the Danns are leaving for Florida next week, and the driver will be totally available to Grandpa. It’s not that much money either.
Marty updated us on the state of his house renovations….heated bathroom floors, steam shower etc. I made a snarky remark about how I look forward to when they are finished and he’ll have to regale us with interesting stories for a change (as fascinating as it is to hear about kinds of wood flooring). He also wanted to tell us about Sammy and his chess club….another gripping tale.
Milton told us that Matt is coming home on Friday night; it’s great that he has the entire week off. It’s really smart, because first of all the tickets are probably less, and secondly, everyone gets to enjoy the full week. Dani comes on Tuesday so she’ll be there, but both Maya and Becky get home too late on Wednesday.
Janet told us that she has a precancerous growth on her face that she is treating with a special cream. It led, as usual, to a discussion of who is fighting cancer, who had a double mastectomy, and who died (the second husband of our old neighbor Bobbi Zerlin, whose first husband Sam was one of Grandpa’s favorite people in the world).
At some point during the lunch, cousin Joanne Kirshenbaum came by with her mom Suri, and aunt Pearl. After kisses all around, Janet said mazal tov to Joanne, because her son Eric (Dani’s grade) just got accepted to U of I medical school. Janet is friends with Joanne, but no one in that entire family has been overly friendly to us since we moved back to Chicago.
Milton and Marty told us of their plans to meet at the bike trail off of Lake Cook to go for a ride this afternoon, so they had to leave early. We talked about working out; how Janet and I meet with a personal trainer every Friday morning, and Janet also works out with him on Tuesdays. I told Milton that we sometimes see Ibby’s friend working out with Donovan, who has a gorgeous body. Milton said he would never let Ibby work out with a cute guy, but I said that Donavan and Michael (David’s trainer) call women over 30 ‘cougars’, and that he shouldn’t worry about it at all. He announced that he’d then have to work out with a beautiful woman who was also a dancer.
Marty wanted to know about our work outs, and I told him that we like Aaron because he is a kinesiologist (or something) and can help us every time one of us hurts something. Also, we have that stenosis in our family. We spent a moment remembering Grandma, who was bent over the last few years from stenosis of the spine. Uncle Leon also had it, and Grandma is starting to feel it, but she and Grandpa are working out with a physical therapist.
Marty and Milton left, and Janet and I chatted with Grandpa for a bit. We tried to find a good chocolatey dessert, but they really didn’t have anything. Looks like we won’t be returning to Stir Crazy. Janet then drove Grandpa back to the office, but she promised to stop and get him something chocolate at Starbucks on the way. I had to run home and get back to the computer, I explained, because I have a hard time working in short installments, and need a chunk of time to get things done.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Robin Pfeifer visits from Corfu
November 5, 2008
Robin Pfeifer came in from Corfu, and met us, with her sister Susie, at Eggshell Café. For those grandchildren who remember Robin’s mother (Grandma’s best friend for years, and one of the most fun people in the world), Robin is sort of a wilder version of Anita Pfeifer. Anita died about four years ago, and since Grandma and Grandpa held the shiva at their house, the kids all probably remember being there.
Anita smoked for years, even after her first heart attack, and ultimately died of complications caused by all that smoking. It’s shocking that Robin still smokes, but she was always a rebellious and free-spirited person who did what she wanted. She dropped out of Niles East after one semester (she reminded me at lunch) and went to a city high school for a short time before calling it quits. She tried several different jobs; and even created a knitting business, making one sweater a day and selling it for lots of money. Then, she started travelling the world, earning money here and there doing this and that.
She told me that early on, she knew that she wanted to live on an island, and when, after years of travelling, she landed on Corfu, she knew that was her island. So, she found a cute guy on the beach, and within months, notified him that she was ready to be married and have a lot of children. When they finally had the wedding (before a justice of the peace in the town with just his family), she was already pregnant with her eldest son.
She is now divorced, with four kids ages 14-20, and still on the island. She told me that she knew at the wedding that she was making a mistake, because she wanted a horse drawn carriage ride that day, but her groom Costas wouldn’t treat her to it because it was too expensive. On her wedding day! Finally after four kids, she couldn’t live with someone who was so controlling, almost abusive, who wouldn’t let her have friends, or even leave the house much.
I can’t imagine anyone having much control over Robin. She built a restaurant from scratch, and left it to Costas and the kids when she left the marriage. She bought a small bar in the town, with a room to live in behind it, and enough room in summer for about 60 people. Grandma asked if she served food with the drinks and was shocked when Robin said no pretzels, or nuts or anything. But late at night, when it is just locals, she throws together pizzas (Grandma wanted more details so we know that she uses prepared crust). It is called Robin’s Nest, and when any of the kids go to Greece, I hope they look her up.
The youngest of the Pfeifer kids was at lunch also, and Grandpa spent time chatting with her. She is evangelical, and raised five children in that world. I’m not all that interested in talking to her; she was never as much fun as Howard or Robin. But I did like hearing about her children, especially that she has one who is musical like Howard. Both girls filled us in on Howard’s life; his reworking of a Broadway musical he hopes to launch, his beautiful older girls, and the 8 year old son he had with his second wife. Grandma’s cousin Frances and I fixed Howard up with this first wife, who turned out to be a spoiled, bratty girl, but who gave him three lovely daughters. I felt bad about that shiduch for a long time, but after all he got the daughters.
I remember many of those times we went to the reform congregation to which their family belonged. It was all very sing-songy and formal but with camp music. I never liked it, but now that I know all three kids grew up to marry non-Jews, I like it less. Even though I was a reform cantor for many years, my apathy towards that movement has grown, and I’m not at all sure it is worthwhile to keep people tethered to a Judaism that is so watered down and easy to depart from. I’ve told Grandpa that I wouldn’t want it to be so easy for my children to jump into another world; how can anyone miss Shabbat if they never experience it?
Grandma asked Robin if she felt safe living alone serving alcohol to tourists late at night. Robin says there is little crime on Corfu. Where would they escape to? Grandma remembered travelling to the Cayman Islands years ago, and learning about the one criminal in the jail, a guy who had murdered his wife, who was let out on holidays to be with his family since there was no place for him to run to. Grandma thought I remembered all those visits to Grand Cayman, but I replied dryly that I’d never been.
Robin told us that she is always thinking of new ideas, new projects to do. She is inspired now to do some jewelry making, like necklaces with stones inscribed with Greek sayings that she can sell in her bar. She has met men from all over the world, but she would love to have a single good relationship as soon as her youngest is out of the house (even though the kids are living with the father in the family house). She works hard from May to October during the tourist season, take a vacation in the winter, and plans to go back and open the bar to locals on the weekends. She is happy.
I think it was fun for both Grandma and Grandpa to remember Anita; so many happy times together! So much laughter and fun, cultural events and dinners; she was someone special for all of us.
Robin Pfeifer came in from Corfu, and met us, with her sister Susie, at Eggshell Café. For those grandchildren who remember Robin’s mother (Grandma’s best friend for years, and one of the most fun people in the world), Robin is sort of a wilder version of Anita Pfeifer. Anita died about four years ago, and since Grandma and Grandpa held the shiva at their house, the kids all probably remember being there.
Anita smoked for years, even after her first heart attack, and ultimately died of complications caused by all that smoking. It’s shocking that Robin still smokes, but she was always a rebellious and free-spirited person who did what she wanted. She dropped out of Niles East after one semester (she reminded me at lunch) and went to a city high school for a short time before calling it quits. She tried several different jobs; and even created a knitting business, making one sweater a day and selling it for lots of money. Then, she started travelling the world, earning money here and there doing this and that.
She told me that early on, she knew that she wanted to live on an island, and when, after years of travelling, she landed on Corfu, she knew that was her island. So, she found a cute guy on the beach, and within months, notified him that she was ready to be married and have a lot of children. When they finally had the wedding (before a justice of the peace in the town with just his family), she was already pregnant with her eldest son.
She is now divorced, with four kids ages 14-20, and still on the island. She told me that she knew at the wedding that she was making a mistake, because she wanted a horse drawn carriage ride that day, but her groom Costas wouldn’t treat her to it because it was too expensive. On her wedding day! Finally after four kids, she couldn’t live with someone who was so controlling, almost abusive, who wouldn’t let her have friends, or even leave the house much.
I can’t imagine anyone having much control over Robin. She built a restaurant from scratch, and left it to Costas and the kids when she left the marriage. She bought a small bar in the town, with a room to live in behind it, and enough room in summer for about 60 people. Grandma asked if she served food with the drinks and was shocked when Robin said no pretzels, or nuts or anything. But late at night, when it is just locals, she throws together pizzas (Grandma wanted more details so we know that she uses prepared crust). It is called Robin’s Nest, and when any of the kids go to Greece, I hope they look her up.
The youngest of the Pfeifer kids was at lunch also, and Grandpa spent time chatting with her. She is evangelical, and raised five children in that world. I’m not all that interested in talking to her; she was never as much fun as Howard or Robin. But I did like hearing about her children, especially that she has one who is musical like Howard. Both girls filled us in on Howard’s life; his reworking of a Broadway musical he hopes to launch, his beautiful older girls, and the 8 year old son he had with his second wife. Grandma’s cousin Frances and I fixed Howard up with this first wife, who turned out to be a spoiled, bratty girl, but who gave him three lovely daughters. I felt bad about that shiduch for a long time, but after all he got the daughters.
I remember many of those times we went to the reform congregation to which their family belonged. It was all very sing-songy and formal but with camp music. I never liked it, but now that I know all three kids grew up to marry non-Jews, I like it less. Even though I was a reform cantor for many years, my apathy towards that movement has grown, and I’m not at all sure it is worthwhile to keep people tethered to a Judaism that is so watered down and easy to depart from. I’ve told Grandpa that I wouldn’t want it to be so easy for my children to jump into another world; how can anyone miss Shabbat if they never experience it?
Grandma asked Robin if she felt safe living alone serving alcohol to tourists late at night. Robin says there is little crime on Corfu. Where would they escape to? Grandma remembered travelling to the Cayman Islands years ago, and learning about the one criminal in the jail, a guy who had murdered his wife, who was let out on holidays to be with his family since there was no place for him to run to. Grandma thought I remembered all those visits to Grand Cayman, but I replied dryly that I’d never been.
Robin told us that she is always thinking of new ideas, new projects to do. She is inspired now to do some jewelry making, like necklaces with stones inscribed with Greek sayings that she can sell in her bar. She has met men from all over the world, but she would love to have a single good relationship as soon as her youngest is out of the house (even though the kids are living with the father in the family house). She works hard from May to October during the tourist season, take a vacation in the winter, and plans to go back and open the bar to locals on the weekends. She is happy.
I think it was fun for both Grandma and Grandpa to remember Anita; so many happy times together! So much laughter and fun, cultural events and dinners; she was someone special for all of us.
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