Will Grandpa Stop Driving?

October 29, 2008

In case we weren’t sure if I have attention deficit disorder (for those of you in the next generation reading this): after texting everyone and calling Grandma and Grandpa to make sure they were all okay with Stir Crazy at 12:15, I went directly to Di Pescaro, and even sat down at a table to wait for them all. Oy. Jumped up and ran, still made it there before Janet.
Grandpa had asked me to write up last week, but we were in shul, and there was too much noise to hear any one conversation. It was nice that Ray Weiss and Frieda Litke were there, and Bob Weiss came to be with them for Yizkor. Bob thought it was really wonderful how we all sat around afterwards for lunch, because they are in a very reform congregation that doesn’t do this sort of thing. I reminded him that if you give them food, the Jews will come.
First order of business; both Grandpa and Grandma have to approve distributions from the trust. I’d asked Grandpa about going to the Cohn’s Bat Mitzvah in California, and he gave me the go-ahead. Sheldon Cohn is on the Banner board, and he and Kim flew out for Sarah and Gabie’s B’nai Mitzvah. I thought it was the right thing to do but the trip was not in David’s and my budget. Grandpa agreed that the trust would pay for the ticket (of course there will be all the other expenses of getting around), but apparently Grandma doesn’t agree.
Okay, I said, I get it. No more asking Grandpa for anything (note to grandchildren). Furthermore, Milton continued, the economy sucks, everyone is suffering, and even he is looking for ways to cut costs, both at home and at Banner. They might give up one of their cars, might not continue having full time help in the house, and might do any number of other things. And of course Banner needs to tighten belts as well. They have lost 25% of the value of something or other, in keeping with the rest of the country, and they are losing deals left and right. Nobody wants to lend money, or the terms are too onerous.
Janet came just before the food was served, but we both love the Chilean Sea Bass so I’d ordered for her already. She wondered why Milt and Marty were sharing one meal. Well, Milton explained, he likes to eat a big breakfast to get through the morning, and Ibby cooks a four course dinner every night, so lunch is the only time he can lighten it up. He had gained some weight, and finally lost it, but as someone nearing fifty, realizes that his metabolism has slowed down. Now, if only I can get that in my head, maybe I’d lose that extra five. Meanwhile, Grandma asked which salad was least fattening…I swear I’m not going to think about it once I hit seventy five, maybe before that.
Grandma wanted to remind us that Robin Pfeifer (daughter of her old friend Anita, who died of lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking), is coming in from Greece for her 5oth birthday. Robin is a smoker also. There will be a gathering this Saturday night at someone’s house, and we are all invited. We didn’t talk about it this time, but we all know that Robin is stuck on Corfu because her children are there. Doesn’t sound like a bad place to be stuck, but it sounds like she has to struggle. We spoke for a bit about the possibility of cancelling our winter vacation to Mexico, and Grandma said that we would have to let Elaine know by tomorrow. It is awfully expensive, but we don’t know how much we would get back, and it took so much work to set it up, we are all loathe to start redoing the trip. If they’re tightening belts though, that seems like an easy place to start.
Milton had said that he might get rid of the extra car (not the Jag), and Grandma said they’d decided to wait the winter out before replacing Grandpa’s car. They’re going to have Becky’s Avalon (SassCo) in their garage which is great for us but also good for them in case they need an extra car. I said something about how much better it would be if Grandpa just used the driver, Mark, and Iranian immigrant who is struggling without a green card, too old to get any real work. We all talked about how much better it would be if Grandpa stopped driving, and then Milton told the story of what he’d witnessed when Grandpa left the BannerDay festivities at Pinstripes the previous week.
Milt just started to drive out of his spot in the parking lot, and realized he was driving behind Grandpa, who performed two dangerous moves in quick succession. First, he pulled too far into the street and the driver passing had to veer away from him. Second, as he pulled out, he went over the curb. Milton said to Grandma that he understood she had a hard time with the idea of Grandpa losing his license, but that she seemed to be waiting for him to kill either himself or someone else before he stopped driving. We all looked at Grandpa…we want him to make a decision about this, but he just shrugged.
Naturally the subject of the election popped up; Janet is working hard on Kirk’s campaign, and asked if any of us want to volunteer at the train stations where they are passing out Kirk fliers, reminding people to vote etc. She already told the Kirk people that I don’t want to do anything outside (unless by some miracle the temperature is above 65), but I’ll do phoning or something like that, especially on Election day. I think all of us are voting for Kirk, so there was no disagreement, but the next step was discussing the busted economy.
Once again Grandpa started talking about the democrats being responsible for everything bad that happened, while Milton shot out names of years when this or that happened, and Marty just sighed, because we’ve already discussed this ad nauseum. Milton is supporting Obama, which is shocking to Grandpa (and Janet as well). Janet was probably itching to talk about the terror threat, Islam extremism, Israel security, but basically said she’s exhausted from talking about it all. Grandma just requested that they argue in the office where she doesn’t have to sit between them listening to them shout at and interrupt each other. They are both passionate about their decisions.