The Day after our Governor Fell from Grace

December 10, 2008

Uncle Marty chose Georgie V’s, not close to anything, so Janet was iffy about coming until the last minute. Milton said he would show but ended up not coming at all. Marty started off bringing us up to date about his house; they can now park both cars in their garage. He said he assumes that someone, not naming names, will bash into the side and they will soon need to replace something about the doors.
Marty also told us about playing chess with the boys at the chess club at Highland Park Library. Sometimes there are an uneven number of children, and an adult is conscripted to play, which is how he ended up playing against a 6 year old who is known as a killer chess player. Marty was sweating, concentrating hard, when the little guy made a mistake. Did Uncle Marty ask him if he wanted to redo the move? Did he offer guidance of some kind? Nope. He swooped in and won the game. And did he feel great about it? Well, it’s Uncle Marty, so you guess!
Grandma wanted to talk about the details of the upcoming trip, like who is bringing what medicines (and should she bring her Cipro even though it expired in 2006…Dr. Janet assured her that it was okay), how are people getting to the airport (we should try to use Grandpa’s driver if possible), she is going to start packing now since it takes her a long time to get organized for both Grandpa and Grandma, etc.
Grandma also wanted to talk about the birthday gift Sevonne and I picked out for her from Neiman’s that she just returned this week, and how will that work because she didn’t want a store credit so they put it back on my card. They were beautiful earrings, she admitted, but too heavy for her ears so they hurt. I refused to talk about the returning of birthday gifts at lunch; why does it need to be discussed in front of everyone else? Grandma says ‘because I never talk to you’. Yeah, except for every morning when I call to check in.
Uncle Marty brought up all the excitement of our governor Rod Blagojevitch being taken to jail yesterday; about that great Patrick Fitzgerald who is so much better than his predecessor and who inspires hope in integrity. We all liked how the FBI swooped in on Blagojevitch…maybe now we’ll all learn how to spell his name...and we wondered if his wife, who Janet reminded us is Jewish, will also go down. She is heard on at least one of the hidden tapes using profanity and suggesting that she knew something about what Rod was doing. She is the daughter of Dick Mell, who never really liked her husband the governor and who was basically shafted early on by his son in law, Rod.
Janet thinks the wife is crooked; and Marty told a story about our friend and colleague Doug Imber doing a real estate deal into which she, Patti Blagojevitch, tried to insert herself. Why? Because she wants more money. How was it even possible, I wondered? Doug is such a good guy; he fended her off, but it must have rattled him. We all know she did a lot of business with the shyster Antoine Rezko, same guy who arranged for Obama to buy his lovely Hyde Park home, and whose name was bandied about as one of the unsavory characters with whom Obama has a relationship.
Certain amount of speculation proceeded about Obama’s connections and knowledge of events….this is his vacant seat that is the source the governor’s attempts at extortion/bribery. And how will that be figured out now? Grandma expressed disdain for Jesse Jackson Jr, who is on the list, and brought up the possibility of Mark Kirk. But he is a republican so that is doubtful, even if an election were called. Grandma suggested that all politicians are crooked, but I defended Mark Kirk, and Janet said that he doesn’t go to sports events, takes no money from anyone, refuses any gifts, and anything that could possibly be taken as gift. She did however see Joe Biden sitting near where she and Gadi sit at this weekend’s Bulls game.
Janet says there is no longer any edible food at Bulls games; nothing vegetarian, and they don’t let you bring in food. I’m going to check with Gabie’s friend’s mom, because they always cater fabulous kosher feasts in their box at Bulls games, and sometimes invite friends along. Gabie is invited for this Saturday night….I told Janet if she is going she should go look for their box and invite herself in to eat something! The friend’s mom was an old friend of our departed cousin Jackie, so it wouldn’t be so terrible or strange for Janet to stop in and say hello even if she doesn’t know them.
Back to talking about Mexico, Marty wonders about the workout facilities, and although it’s just a room, Janet thinks they have all the right equipment. I think the beach if very small in this place, and you have to go back and forth a number of times to reach even a mile, but Janet says it’s better to walk back and forth on a quiet beach than to brave hordes of people on some of the nicer beaches. I waxed prolific about the yummy food at Dreams; the guacamole and eggs every morning, the fruit smoothies, delicious salads and good ice cream. Janet gushed about the coffee. The food at this place is excellent.
Grandma reminded us all about how dangerous it’s all going to be, how the kids should never be alone in town. Janet remembered that Milt and Ibby went into town almost every day when we were in Cabo a few years ago, so there will usually be adults nearby if kids want to go browsing in the shops. I plan to sit myself on the beach and only get up to eat or go back to the room. I feel no need to shop in the town or eat in the town. Janet said that all her best serving plates were from Puerto Vallarta….they have special things there and no where else. Still, there is nothing I need but sun and sand and a cool drink (plus a bowl of chips with guacamole). We are all looking forward to this vacation!

All Four of Us with Grandpa

November 18, 2008
Last week Anat was with us for lunch at PF Chang’s, because she had just finished finals and there was a short break. Her goal was to stop thinking during that break, which was hard for her after all that constant study. I think Anat told stories about medical school, but Grandma was sitting across from me and she kept chatting so that I couldn’t hear what Anat was saying at the other end of the table. I brought extra Advair disks for Marty because two of the kids use it. Our friend Henry Danko, who used to be Grandma Weiss’s doctor, gave me a box of samples, and I shared them with Janet, Milton, and now Marty. Thee food was good, and the dessert was a giant piece of chocolate cake big enough to share between the six of us.
Today, Janet, Milton, Marty, and I had lunch with Grandpa at Stir Crazy. Marty started complaining immediately, because he much prefers an eggy kind of place, but Janet had complained earlier about how awful Eggshell Café is….something is wrong, she thinks, about the way they prepare the food. I think she suspects the cleanliness of the kitchen. So we had some discussion about where to meet next week, when some of the college kids will be around.
Grandpa has a big bandage smack across his forehead, which invites conversation. Turns out he got it on the edge of his car door when he turned around without noticing the door was still there and open. Marty, luckily, bandaged him up. We spoke a bit about how glad we all were that he now has a driver, and no car of his own. Grandma seems to think that he will lease a new car when the winter is over, but all four of us sat there and echoed each other’s relief that Grandpa is not driving.
I said I’d actually used Mark, the driver, to help me on Monday when both Becky’s and David’s cars were dead; one had to be towed, the other jump-started. I needed a ride to pick up Becky’s car from the mechanic (Kenny), and it was great to have someone like that to call. Even though Grandpa shares the driver with Julie Dann’s father, Charlie, the Danns are leaving for Florida next week, and the driver will be totally available to Grandpa. It’s not that much money either.
Marty updated us on the state of his house renovations….heated bathroom floors, steam shower etc. I made a snarky remark about how I look forward to when they are finished and he’ll have to regale us with interesting stories for a change (as fascinating as it is to hear about kinds of wood flooring). He also wanted to tell us about Sammy and his chess club….another gripping tale.
Milton told us that Matt is coming home on Friday night; it’s great that he has the entire week off. It’s really smart, because first of all the tickets are probably less, and secondly, everyone gets to enjoy the full week. Dani comes on Tuesday so she’ll be there, but both Maya and Becky get home too late on Wednesday.
Janet told us that she has a precancerous growth on her face that she is treating with a special cream. It led, as usual, to a discussion of who is fighting cancer, who had a double mastectomy, and who died (the second husband of our old neighbor Bobbi Zerlin, whose first husband Sam was one of Grandpa’s favorite people in the world).
At some point during the lunch, cousin Joanne Kirshenbaum came by with her mom Suri, and aunt Pearl. After kisses all around, Janet said mazal tov to Joanne, because her son Eric (Dani’s grade) just got accepted to U of I medical school. Janet is friends with Joanne, but no one in that entire family has been overly friendly to us since we moved back to Chicago.
Milton and Marty told us of their plans to meet at the bike trail off of Lake Cook to go for a ride this afternoon, so they had to leave early. We talked about working out; how Janet and I meet with a personal trainer every Friday morning, and Janet also works out with him on Tuesdays. I told Milton that we sometimes see Ibby’s friend working out with Donovan, who has a gorgeous body. Milton said he would never let Ibby work out with a cute guy, but I said that Donavan and Michael (David’s trainer) call women over 30 ‘cougars’, and that he shouldn’t worry about it at all. He announced that he’d then have to work out with a beautiful woman who was also a dancer.
Marty wanted to know about our work outs, and I told him that we like Aaron because he is a kinesiologist (or something) and can help us every time one of us hurts something. Also, we have that stenosis in our family. We spent a moment remembering Grandma, who was bent over the last few years from stenosis of the spine. Uncle Leon also had it, and Grandma is starting to feel it, but she and Grandpa are working out with a physical therapist.
Marty and Milton left, and Janet and I chatted with Grandpa for a bit. We tried to find a good chocolatey dessert, but they really didn’t have anything. Looks like we won’t be returning to Stir Crazy. Janet then drove Grandpa back to the office, but she promised to stop and get him something chocolate at Starbucks on the way. I had to run home and get back to the computer, I explained, because I have a hard time working in short installments, and need a chunk of time to get things done.

Robin Pfeifer visits from Corfu

November 5, 2008
Robin Pfeifer came in from Corfu, and met us, with her sister Susie, at Eggshell Café. For those grandchildren who remember Robin’s mother (Grandma’s best friend for years, and one of the most fun people in the world), Robin is sort of a wilder version of Anita Pfeifer. Anita died about four years ago, and since Grandma and Grandpa held the shiva at their house, the kids all probably remember being there.
Anita smoked for years, even after her first heart attack, and ultimately died of complications caused by all that smoking. It’s shocking that Robin still smokes, but she was always a rebellious and free-spirited person who did what she wanted. She dropped out of Niles East after one semester (she reminded me at lunch) and went to a city high school for a short time before calling it quits. She tried several different jobs; and even created a knitting business, making one sweater a day and selling it for lots of money. Then, she started travelling the world, earning money here and there doing this and that.
She told me that early on, she knew that she wanted to live on an island, and when, after years of travelling, she landed on Corfu, she knew that was her island. So, she found a cute guy on the beach, and within months, notified him that she was ready to be married and have a lot of children. When they finally had the wedding (before a justice of the peace in the town with just his family), she was already pregnant with her eldest son.
She is now divorced, with four kids ages 14-20, and still on the island. She told me that she knew at the wedding that she was making a mistake, because she wanted a horse drawn carriage ride that day, but her groom Costas wouldn’t treat her to it because it was too expensive. On her wedding day! Finally after four kids, she couldn’t live with someone who was so controlling, almost abusive, who wouldn’t let her have friends, or even leave the house much.
I can’t imagine anyone having much control over Robin. She built a restaurant from scratch, and left it to Costas and the kids when she left the marriage. She bought a small bar in the town, with a room to live in behind it, and enough room in summer for about 60 people. Grandma asked if she served food with the drinks and was shocked when Robin said no pretzels, or nuts or anything. But late at night, when it is just locals, she throws together pizzas (Grandma wanted more details so we know that she uses prepared crust). It is called Robin’s Nest, and when any of the kids go to Greece, I hope they look her up.
The youngest of the Pfeifer kids was at lunch also, and Grandpa spent time chatting with her. She is evangelical, and raised five children in that world. I’m not all that interested in talking to her; she was never as much fun as Howard or Robin. But I did like hearing about her children, especially that she has one who is musical like Howard. Both girls filled us in on Howard’s life; his reworking of a Broadway musical he hopes to launch, his beautiful older girls, and the 8 year old son he had with his second wife. Grandma’s cousin Frances and I fixed Howard up with this first wife, who turned out to be a spoiled, bratty girl, but who gave him three lovely daughters. I felt bad about that shiduch for a long time, but after all he got the daughters.
I remember many of those times we went to the reform congregation to which their family belonged. It was all very sing-songy and formal but with camp music. I never liked it, but now that I know all three kids grew up to marry non-Jews, I like it less. Even though I was a reform cantor for many years, my apathy towards that movement has grown, and I’m not at all sure it is worthwhile to keep people tethered to a Judaism that is so watered down and easy to depart from. I’ve told Grandpa that I wouldn’t want it to be so easy for my children to jump into another world; how can anyone miss Shabbat if they never experience it?
Grandma asked Robin if she felt safe living alone serving alcohol to tourists late at night. Robin says there is little crime on Corfu. Where would they escape to? Grandma remembered travelling to the Cayman Islands years ago, and learning about the one criminal in the jail, a guy who had murdered his wife, who was let out on holidays to be with his family since there was no place for him to run to. Grandma thought I remembered all those visits to Grand Cayman, but I replied dryly that I’d never been.
Robin told us that she is always thinking of new ideas, new projects to do. She is inspired now to do some jewelry making, like necklaces with stones inscribed with Greek sayings that she can sell in her bar. She has met men from all over the world, but she would love to have a single good relationship as soon as her youngest is out of the house (even though the kids are living with the father in the family house). She works hard from May to October during the tourist season, take a vacation in the winter, and plans to go back and open the bar to locals on the weekends. She is happy.
I think it was fun for both Grandma and Grandpa to remember Anita; so many happy times together! So much laughter and fun, cultural events and dinners; she was someone special for all of us.

Will Grandpa Stop Driving?

October 29, 2008

In case we weren’t sure if I have attention deficit disorder (for those of you in the next generation reading this): after texting everyone and calling Grandma and Grandpa to make sure they were all okay with Stir Crazy at 12:15, I went directly to Di Pescaro, and even sat down at a table to wait for them all. Oy. Jumped up and ran, still made it there before Janet.
Grandpa had asked me to write up last week, but we were in shul, and there was too much noise to hear any one conversation. It was nice that Ray Weiss and Frieda Litke were there, and Bob Weiss came to be with them for Yizkor. Bob thought it was really wonderful how we all sat around afterwards for lunch, because they are in a very reform congregation that doesn’t do this sort of thing. I reminded him that if you give them food, the Jews will come.
First order of business; both Grandpa and Grandma have to approve distributions from the trust. I’d asked Grandpa about going to the Cohn’s Bat Mitzvah in California, and he gave me the go-ahead. Sheldon Cohn is on the Banner board, and he and Kim flew out for Sarah and Gabie’s B’nai Mitzvah. I thought it was the right thing to do but the trip was not in David’s and my budget. Grandpa agreed that the trust would pay for the ticket (of course there will be all the other expenses of getting around), but apparently Grandma doesn’t agree.
Okay, I said, I get it. No more asking Grandpa for anything (note to grandchildren). Furthermore, Milton continued, the economy sucks, everyone is suffering, and even he is looking for ways to cut costs, both at home and at Banner. They might give up one of their cars, might not continue having full time help in the house, and might do any number of other things. And of course Banner needs to tighten belts as well. They have lost 25% of the value of something or other, in keeping with the rest of the country, and they are losing deals left and right. Nobody wants to lend money, or the terms are too onerous.
Janet came just before the food was served, but we both love the Chilean Sea Bass so I’d ordered for her already. She wondered why Milt and Marty were sharing one meal. Well, Milton explained, he likes to eat a big breakfast to get through the morning, and Ibby cooks a four course dinner every night, so lunch is the only time he can lighten it up. He had gained some weight, and finally lost it, but as someone nearing fifty, realizes that his metabolism has slowed down. Now, if only I can get that in my head, maybe I’d lose that extra five. Meanwhile, Grandma asked which salad was least fattening…I swear I’m not going to think about it once I hit seventy five, maybe before that.
Grandma wanted to remind us that Robin Pfeifer (daughter of her old friend Anita, who died of lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking), is coming in from Greece for her 5oth birthday. Robin is a smoker also. There will be a gathering this Saturday night at someone’s house, and we are all invited. We didn’t talk about it this time, but we all know that Robin is stuck on Corfu because her children are there. Doesn’t sound like a bad place to be stuck, but it sounds like she has to struggle. We spoke for a bit about the possibility of cancelling our winter vacation to Mexico, and Grandma said that we would have to let Elaine know by tomorrow. It is awfully expensive, but we don’t know how much we would get back, and it took so much work to set it up, we are all loathe to start redoing the trip. If they’re tightening belts though, that seems like an easy place to start.
Milton had said that he might get rid of the extra car (not the Jag), and Grandma said they’d decided to wait the winter out before replacing Grandpa’s car. They’re going to have Becky’s Avalon (SassCo) in their garage which is great for us but also good for them in case they need an extra car. I said something about how much better it would be if Grandpa just used the driver, Mark, and Iranian immigrant who is struggling without a green card, too old to get any real work. We all talked about how much better it would be if Grandpa stopped driving, and then Milton told the story of what he’d witnessed when Grandpa left the BannerDay festivities at Pinstripes the previous week.
Milt just started to drive out of his spot in the parking lot, and realized he was driving behind Grandpa, who performed two dangerous moves in quick succession. First, he pulled too far into the street and the driver passing had to veer away from him. Second, as he pulled out, he went over the curb. Milton said to Grandma that he understood she had a hard time with the idea of Grandpa losing his license, but that she seemed to be waiting for him to kill either himself or someone else before he stopped driving. We all looked at Grandpa…we want him to make a decision about this, but he just shrugged.
Naturally the subject of the election popped up; Janet is working hard on Kirk’s campaign, and asked if any of us want to volunteer at the train stations where they are passing out Kirk fliers, reminding people to vote etc. She already told the Kirk people that I don’t want to do anything outside (unless by some miracle the temperature is above 65), but I’ll do phoning or something like that, especially on Election day. I think all of us are voting for Kirk, so there was no disagreement, but the next step was discussing the busted economy.
Once again Grandpa started talking about the democrats being responsible for everything bad that happened, while Milton shot out names of years when this or that happened, and Marty just sighed, because we’ve already discussed this ad nauseum. Milton is supporting Obama, which is shocking to Grandpa (and Janet as well). Janet was probably itching to talk about the terror threat, Islam extremism, Israel security, but basically said she’s exhausted from talking about it all. Grandma just requested that they argue in the office where she doesn’t have to sit between them listening to them shout at and interrupt each other. They are both passionate about their decisions.

Grandpa's Geothermal Friends, 9/10/08

September 10, 2008
We had lunch last week, for the first time since the kids all went back to college (and Anat to medical school). Janet and Marty both showed up, and Dad invited a guy he met through mentoring, who is a retired education professor at Loyola. Barney was an interesting guy, very amused about Grandpa lunch, but he is overweight and dropped crumbs all over his lap as he ate, which was distracting. I have so much going on right now, with the law center opening tomorrow, and the Bar Mitzvah a week from Saturday, so I wasn’t able to write anything.
Today, we met at Prairie Grass, which is once again acceptable now that they fired the guy who was rude to Grandpa last year when he asked for a decaffeinated soda. Janet, Milton, and Marty all came, but Mom was busy at the Holocaust Museum. Dad walked in with two new people, who he has been talking about excitedly, because they dug a 300 foot hole in their yard and now heat/cool their home with geothermal energy.
Dad has been trying unsuccessfully to explain it, but it didn’t sound that believable, especially in this area. Amazingly, it turned out that Bill and Rona live over on Dauphine, just blocks from here, and they really did what Grandpa said! Rona is clearly the force behind it; she described herself as someone who researches decisions carefully and does nothing half-assed.
She nearly gasped when I told her I just bought a dress for the Bar Mitzvah, which is in less than two weeks. Bill seemed a lot more laid back, calm, and was as riveted talking about his healing practice as Rona was about geothermal energy.
He actually owns a title company; and is a grad of DePaul College of Law, another name for my alumni list, and he met Grandpa in the locker room at Bally’s, overheard him telling a joke and couldn’t help but join in. He was interested in Grandpa’s mentoring, and thought his joke was funny; and of course Grandpa loves getting to know strangers. But on the side, and perhaps one day as his full time job, he has the gift of being able to diagnose certain medical problems, and to sometimes cure them with touch. A rare and amazing gift; hard to believe, and I wonder if he even mentioned it to Grandpa.
They are both the kind of people we see all the time; nicely dressed, attractive, polite and educated. She is small and dark, filled with energy, while he speaks at a slower pace, and seems to listen more to what we were all saying. At some point, because I learn a lot from the question, I asked what shul they attended, and the answer is that they are not very connected to the Jewish community.
We were all interested in hearing about the process they went through to discover geothermal energy, and we all focused in on the cost/benefit analysis Rona gave us. She is absolutely enamored of the process, but it isn’t something I would ever do in our house, because the outlay was about $22,000, and that’s after she changed all the windows to 3 panes. Yes they save money, but you have to stay in a house much longer than we plan to in order to make it cost effective.
So at that point I wanted to hear more about them as people, and less about how they made their house better. Marty also likes to talk about improvements to his house, and ultimately, the discussion is about nesting. Even though Rona hopes to convince numbers of people to use this system, it is very expensive and only available to a certain segment of society. Milton said that it was an interesting concept because of all the buildings…but questioned if the technology was available. Apparently there is a hospital somewhere in the west suburbs that is converting to geothermal….of course to the tune of over 4 million.
I piped up that my very first editorial, regarding the environment, is being published in the Northbrook News, (I’m SOOO proud!) and explained that it gives kudos to Congressman Mark Kirk for his push to clean up Lake Michigan. I wanted to bring Janet more into the conversation, and that would be something she would enjoy discussing, but they didn’t seem all that interested. Nor were they interested in asking anything when I told them that Janet’s passion was in lobbying. Bill asked “for what?” she replied, “Israel”, and the conversation frittered away with Marty checking into her status as professional or non-professional lobbyist.
So, I asked Rona if there was anything else about which she was so passionate, or anything that she had been passionate about before this came along. She told us about raising their autistic son, now almost thirty, and how it had left her little time for outside interests. She had dabbled in Mahjong, but truly geothermal energy was the thing that motivated her. Neither Bill nor Rona asked questions about us, but Milton left just as dessert came, and then Janet and I pursued a conversation with Bill, and there was more give and take.
I saw Bill looking closely at Janet, and was worried that he was seeing something wrong….I had to interrupt, as if blocking him from saying anything would stop whatever he saw. He told a story about noticing something wrong with someone’s foot, and pointing to it and immediately the pain subsided. Then he asked if Janet had nightmares as a child. He apparently didn’t hear me when I explained that Janet doesn’t remember ANYTHING from her childhood. But she surprised my by saying she remembered being upset at the Speck slayings, and I remembered too, that we had strategized about what we would do if a crazy homicidal person came into our house. We were definitely going to be the ones that hide under the bed and are spared.
Bill kept looking at Janet, and I wondered what having nightmares as a child was showing up as in her now. Grandpa and Marty were still chatting about geothermal energy with Rona. But it got so late, we finally all left. Nice people.

The Country's Financial Crisis vs. Dolly's Calcium Crisis

September 24, 2008
To celebrate Dolly’s birthday, Dad and Marty invited her to our lunch. Dolly DeCamp is the tiny, chiseled receptionist who loves our family and is intensely loyal to Banner. She chose Prairie Grass, right across the street from the office, because she hadn’t ever tried it, and Marty always praises the salmon burger.
Marty started in immediately on the current financial crisis, talking about Fanny Mae being caught with their pants down in 2003 and allowing congress to push them into offering all those high risk mortgages to people who had no hope of repaying. Of course, there were all the lying/cheating/creepy CEO’s who parlayed losses into phantom wins which allowed them to peal off millions of dollars in golden parachutes, bonuses, and other ill-gotten gains.
Dad wanted to say, as usual, that it’s all the fault of the Clinton administration, and that all the deregulation is not just Clinton but two top dems fault; this entire crisis all came about apparently because, and solely because of those 3. Never mind anything that occurred in the past 7.5 years of the Bush administration, never mind any of the deregulation pushed through by republicans….and he repeated this several times until Marty told him to stop talking and I had to remind him that the situation, as are many, is far more complex than he is making it out to be.
I wish I’d thought to mention that McCain is a lifelong believer in deregulation and allowing bankers/brokers to do as they please. Free market above all. I wish I’d thought to mention McCain’s intervention on behalf of that Keating S and L guy who later went to prison, or the whole Silverado fiasco that nearly destroyed Colorado. It’s just not worth saying anything negative about McCain, who now decries Wall Street’s (shock) greed, because all Dad does is bring up some negative point about Democrats, true or untrue.
This discussion went on and on, yawn, with Dolly sitting silently, clearly not having a good time until I stopped listening to Marty’s prognosis of doom and started asking Dolly about her birthday plans. After mentioning a dinner in Evanston, Dolly told us that she was having a terrible birthday.
Why? We were all so sad to hear it. She started telling us that she’d been diagnosed with a severe lack of bone mass, that her bones were described to her as being like swiss cheese. She was warned to be careful of not breaking anything, and forced to completely change her diet. And the worse part, this is two weeks now, is that she has to give herself a daily shot of some medicine that will hopefully, after 2 years, heal them bones.
Dolly was raised in an orphanage; she told us that they never got actual milk, only the powdered kind that was gross and disgusting. She probably started harming her bones way back then…and she is such a little bird of a person, so tiny and fragile without a speck of body fat to be seen. We were probably all thinking that she should just eat that whole piece of pie by herself, and maybe not take off the top of the bun.
The worse part for her is that she has an intense fear of needles, and has cried and cried because it is so challenging and difficult to stick a needle into herself every morning. It makes her tired, but she doesn’t want to suffer all through the day being anxious about doing it in the evening, so she gets it over before going to work.
Marty, in his usual positive way, spoke about how lucky she is that doctors have figured out how to help her, even if it’s unpleasant, and that she will get stronger because of it. And Dad really could have brought up that he had to go through a lot of unpleasantness with his heart, and his shaking etc…but Dolly was so anguished by her own misery that it didn’t seem like remembering any body else’s problems would have made her feel better.
Marty did take a few minutes to talk about his bathroom renovations, which is almost as interesting as discussing the financial crisis, but I do feel for him. He likes to be careful and parsimonious in his dealings with money, but has to cope with Cindy just going ahead and spending whatever she wants. It is a little startling that bathroom tile is costing them so much, but certainly not as shocking as how much the Bar Mitzvah cost.

Cousins Dinner

Let's see, what happened at CPK? Maya and I showed up and waited in the front, only to have Grandma tell us when she walked in that Josh and Grandpa were in the back, with drinks. Josh did not care for his pina colada. Matt and Emily walked in as we were getting our table. We sat and welcomed Hanna, who took the middle of the bench seat (a.k.a. the hardest to get out but comes with the most action. Dani, Becky and Oliver came after, but separated to each side of the table, where there were empty seats. Sevonne arrived last, after we already reheated her pizza and Emily was chomping at the bit to order dessert. We chatted a lot about our summers, Becky was particularly interested in how life at the office was without her. I shared two pizzas with Maya and Emily, keeping the leftovers because I'm the only one in school in Chiago! Sevonne prepped Hannah for college. Everyone questioned Ollie, Matt made fun of his accent. And a few lame jokes. Grandpa told Ollie that his accent was cute. Josh joked that grandpa should ask Ollie his opinion on Tony Blair. Emily saw my new medical school white coat and wants one that "isn't for a halloween costume" because she has a stethoscope that was a costume. I'll see what I can do. We talked about the funny faces that Claire makes at Matt while he's sitting around the house. Dani and I made plans for that night to hang out, but I turned out to be too tired. We confirmed that Becky is both excited and nervous about starting school. Maya, Matt Emily and Becky made plans to attend a movie later that night. We told a lot of funny Sam stories that we knew, including the one where Sam avowed that he wanted to be a banker so that he could poo on every single dollar. It was a really interesting meal, one where everyone laughed and hugged, took pictures and reveled (revelled? dictionary.com says both) in each others' company.

Driving the Georgie V Staff To Insanity: Wednesday Lunch

As has become the custom, nobody responds to my emails or text messages, so I think just Grandma and Grandpa, Janet, Maya, and I are going to meet at Georgie V. Mom mentioned how crazy it was that last week while I was in Colorado, they went to Next Door, and it was ridiculously expensive for a lunch, so she preferred to meet somewhere more reasonable. Good thing, because we ended up being ten.

Matt had gotten his wisdom teeth removed, and wasn’t sure if he was up to lunch (then he ordered six things because he wasn’t sure what he could eat). Milton showed up, which was nice, because the rest of us don’t really know what’s going on with them, and Anat came even though she is extremely hectic with the 3 Day Breast Awareness Walk starting tomorrow and medical school starting next week. The other surprise attendee was Hannah Weiss, who announced that this was her last day working at Banner, and who was just delighted to be with us all. She asked me to switch seats so she could be closer to the other kids.

That meant that I couldn’t hear any of the other conversations happening at the table, because it is a noisy restaurant to begin with, and I was sitting at the very end of the table. Milton told me about his bulging disc, and how he is doing better, and I told him about our Colorado experience. We always trade asthma stories: I told him how I was so in shape for a big hike from Aspen to Crested Butte, but then had to head down the mountain on an shorter, earlier hike, because I was struggling to breathe. Milton told me that when they were in the mountains earlier in the month, even Ibby got a headache that wouldn’t go away.

For the next family council meeting, Milton suggested that we should try Palm Springs, since it is beautiful and dry, convenient for the other board members, and maybe even the place that they would want to retire in later years. I thought it was a good idea, and mentioned that I look forward to seeing, especially, the Cohens, because I have been having an email correspondence with Sheldon’s wife, Kim.

Milton told me about having this idea that he talked about with Sheldon, and also with a guy David introduced him to, about starting a bank. All three of these guys are business savvy and well-connected; Schectman is David’s co-president on the Ark board this year. Milton is very excited about his bank idea, but assured me that he didn’t want it to only lend to Banner. I kept to myself the thought that there are way too many banks taking up good locations where there should be stores or restaurants already.

Matt was very quiet, because he is still sore in his mouth, so he was doing a lot more listening than usual. Hannah and I talked a little about her starting college in the fall; she is very excited about it. Milton also surprised me by asking that I include Ibby on the invitation list for these weekly lunches, and I made sure that I have her cell number. Milt said that she is much better at replying now that he got her a MAC. I didn’t mention how bad he is about replying.

Anat is hopefully going to write something about what happened at the other end of the table…..

Anat: Not that I remember too much. Marty and I split an amazing omelette and french toast, after much debate over getting stuffed french toast or regular. We got stuffed. Blueberry. Very sweet, but Georgie V's doesn't serve dessert, so we were thinking ahead. Grandpa asked why we can't make ourselves live until 120, which is how long DNA lasts. This is literally something he asks me every time I see him. And remember that we spent two weeks together in Italy. Every meal, we talked about DNA. He is upset that he can't play racketball as well as he used to. I told him, as usual, that I'm only starting medical school in a week, and I'm not sure they cover breakthrough medicine on the first day. But I'll keep him (and you all) updated, I'm sure. Marty told me he's interested in cool medical things and asked me to forward him along anything that may intrigue him. Marty and I also discussed a bit about ravinia, a review of this year and some expectations for next. Marty gave great advice on some sensible shoes for medical school. He sees fashion as a sort of two dimensional graph, one axis is what is the most extremely practical, and the other axis is balanced off by what Cindy will let him wear out of the house (what is fashionable). We talked a little about Lollapalooza (grandpa still can't remember what that is) and everyone's start of school. Matt and Maya plan to visit each other often, as Matt will have a car. But where will he park it in New York? Maya suggests the China Town bus instead, but Matt is a little less enthused at spending hours with crazy 'bus people'. To each his own, I guess.

Lunch At Wildfire

Grandma organized this week’s lunch, in honor of cousins Jerry and Lois Heisler, who are visiting from Palm Springs, California. We have always loved them, and remember Jerry’s father as a lovely and charming man who was always telling jokes and making everyone laugh. Harry Heisler was one of Grandma’s fifty or so first cousins; he was the son of Toba, one of her father’s older sisters. We spent some time before ordering straightening this all out for Marty, even though it’s written down and Grandma actually has it on a computer program. Grandpa also has a lot of genealogical information on computer about his side of the family.

We met at Wildfire, which has the most delicious chopped salad; there was a lot of back and forth about who was going to share that salad with whom. Anat was there, and immediately launched into advising Hannah Weiss about college, since she leaves for U of Illinois in just a month. And we talked about Anat having Lasik surgery on her eyes the very next day. I asked how the final measuring appointment had gone, and she answered that it had been fine. I reminded her that I fainted and ended up in the hospital because of that pressure they put on the eyeball. Anat said that she is fascinated by that sort of thing, and it doesn’t bother her at all.

At the same time, Marty and Janet started discussing his plans to renovate their upstairs after a pipe burst causing massive amounts of destruction. Janet excels at this sort of thing; she can look at plans (after spending two years building their house) and make brilliant suggestions about how to make everything better. She could have been a designer.

I wanted to hear the news about Eileen and Marcy, Lois and Jerry’s very talented daughters, and we started off by retelling our story of visiting California and stopping by Eileen’s one afternoon. Hannah was very impressed at the dropping of famous names with whom Eileen had worked, and we all felt privy to secret Hollywood gossip when Lois told us the name of who was going to play the lead in Eileen’s new sitcom called “The Middle”. Unfortunately, I’ve already forgotten the famous actress’s name, and only remember that she was in the show Everyone Loves Raymond. Hannah thought she was the anti-Semitic one, although on second thought realized that another similar looking actress was the one. Eileen had explained to us, sitting at her very cool kitchen table back in March, how hard it is to find a middle aged actress who actually looked middle aged and was also funny.

Then they told us about Marcy, who is apparently dating someone, and working on several projects in New York…which led us to talking a bit about our Maya, who feels like she was born to live in The City, and considers Northbrook to be a place she visits when she isn’t in New York. Janet said that she applied to basically every single school in the city, including city schools. Lois told us about all kinds of people coming to them to get Broadway tickets, since her nephew, Kevin, is now producer of FOUR enormously successful shows, one of which was voted the BEST MUSICAL of the year. I already forgot which one it was, but I’d love to see it one day. Lois told the story of seeing Kevin’s x-wife in a show, and how she still called her Aunt Lois. Grandma told us about going to see Jerry’s actual niece, Jimmy’s daughter Laura, in a show with that x-wife. Lois reports that Kevin is happily married with children. And back to Marcy, she is dating someone, but Lois didn’t give any further details, so we got the impression that she wasn’t thrilled about it.

Jerry told us that he is now retired, but he is president of his home owners association out there, and that it is a lot of work being president of 500 presidents. They are enjoying occasional travelling, and are in town this week to celebrate the 70th birthday of one of Lois’s high school friends. She said that she is sort of friends now with someone she didn’t like in high school, whom she first suspected of being drawn to the theater ticket connection. She even whispered the name of such people to my mother, but we all heard. It’s funny how strange it STILL sounds to hear a grown woman use foul language; Anat and Hannah were very amused. But now Lois is friends with that woman because she is funny, and it gets harder with time to find friends who make you laugh. But she dislikes people assuming that she can get tickets and will only do it for people she would invite to her home for dinner. We asked if Pinskys counted as people she would invite…and we laughed and chatted about this and that until it was time to order dessert.

Lois and Jerry wanted to hear about us, so I repeated the story of how I’m now working to coordinate a new law center at DePaul. The whole music thing was discussed, and I explained how becoming asthmatic and then developing the same tremor as my dad made me realize that I was getting signs to stop being a cantor. Janet told them that she is lobbying, and Anat talked about starting medical school. Hannah just seemed happy to be included, and wondered where she had been when all these cousins were coming through all these years. She told us that her mother was planning to give up custody of Max and Jenna, and they would be living with Paul. We talked about her being old enough to just pop in now and then, and I offered her a place to stay whenever she needed it.

Grandpa made sure to get the most chocolatey dessert, a 3 layer cake with ganoche, Janet ordered the banana cream pie, Marty took the berries with streusel, and Anat got the peach/blueberry pie but ate most of it before I could try it! Then I had to run to catch the 1:30 train to go into the city, first to DePaul, then shopping for a suit with David, and then to dinner with my in-laws. I didn’t get to hear the end of lunch, but maybe Anat will fill this in when she recovers from the Lasik.

Pictures From Lunch... And Some Follow-Up

After lunch.

Buying the materials for the potato launcher.

Men at work.

Georgie V

Anat chose Georgie V’s; I thought it would be just five of us, so I made Gabie come. Then Matt showed up with Emily, who started working at Banner today, alongside Hannah W. She worked a full hour and a half before coming out to lunch. Grandpa assured her that this doesn’t happen every day.
Gabie had a chocolate milkshake and chocolate chip pancakes, which is enough to turn most of our stomachs, but it made up for having to be out for lunch instead of in front of the television. He feels like he needs a lot of TV time before heading into the wilderness of Wisconsin for camp on Sunday. Matt sat next to him and pummeled him; too bad he didn’t have a little brother.
Anat told us more about training for the 3 Day Breast Cancer Awareness Walk. At her recent check up, the doctor was appalled at the number of calluses on her feet, but Anat thinks of them as a badge of honor. She worked hard to get those calluses, walking for miles each day. Maya, too. Anat says that her entire perspective about distances has changed, and now she has no problem walking a mile or so to someone’s house (unlike all the other kids who jump in the car before even thinking about walking).
Grandma asked about trainers and we talked about different kinds of exercise classes. Janet says that it’s a shame Grandma can’t work out with the physical therapist at Just Be Fit, because he’s so knowledgeable and it would be great to have someone like that to deal with all the aches and pains. Grandma is looking around for someone who can meet her at a better time though, and not on her days when she is taking classes, volunteering at the Holocaust Museum, or playing bridge.
I was starving today. I’d done something weird working out this morning that caused sudden dizziness, and I couldn’t eat anything. After sleeping another two hours, I woke up feeling better, but still didn’t eat until we all met at Georgie V’s. Too bad Maya couldn’t come; she and Becky used to go there so often in high school that they knew all the busboys.
Grandma talked about books she’s reading, and Anat pulled out a thick, juicy looking book that I’d given her. While we discussed books, Matt started chatting with Gabie about buying him a snake, and maybe a paint ball gun. I sort of ended that discussion, but I could see Gabie smiling secretly as if it really might happen. Matt told me that Gabie was surrounded by too many girls; not just in our family, because he also had the Cohen girls mothering him all these years.
He brought up our coming winter vacation in Puerta Vallarta, and Grandma reminded us all that in addition to our girls, the Weiss girls are coming. That reminded us of Danny and Sharon, and Grandma asked if anyone had heard from them about the possibility of joining us all in Mexico. It would be great for Brian and Aaron to have a vacation with all of us; they grew up so far away.
The kids talked about what they want to do in Mexico, like driving an ATV, zip lining, and wave riding. Gabie watched the big guys with sparkling eyes. Emily told a story about Claire, from when they were there as a family. They were on a wave rider when Claire hit her head after a bumpy wave. She asked Milton not to tell Ibby, but later that day she said, “Dad, my tooth is loose.”
Matt leaned over and asked Grandpa if he would buy tickets for this year’s Lollapalooza, and Grandma said absolutely not. Although Grandpa funded all the grandchildren with tickets for the past two years, his response was, “What is Lollapalooza?” The girls had asked him last year, and he agreed before he knew that it was an extremely expensive 3 day bash with concerts going on constantly. Grandma chimed in that everyone had been invited last year (in spite of Matt’s protestations that they’d been out of town), and that they could all pay for themselves. I said, ‘why don’t you ask your dad to pay?’ to which Emily replied, “Have you met Miltie?”
Anat announced that she is going to several eye doctors to determine if she is a candidate for the Lasik surgery. In all the talk about doctors Gabe asked Anat if she would soon be working with a black doctor and a sassy Latina nurse, plus a domineering boss (the cast of the TV show Scrubs?). Everyone had a good laugh, and Grandpa asked who watches Scrubs. He thinks it’s a good show. It’s one of Gabie and Anat’s favorite shows. That led to a conversation between Emily and Anat about another show they love: House.
Matt was actually drawing a full description of how to make a potato gun, and later in the day, Maya, Anat, and Matt took Gabie to Home Depot to get supplies, and now they are outside on our patio shooting all of my potatoes over the fence.

Mom and I arrive right at noon, at Francesca North in downtown Northbrook. Dad has gone east on Willow, in spite of Mom’s directions, so he comes about fifteen minutes later, and Janet shows up another fifteen minutes after that. Anat finally walks in even later, and we get down to the business of ordering. Anat is not thrilled about the restaurant, because she’s feeling more like breakfast, and, she just had Italian last night, so she’s a little grumpy.
But, Anat rarely stays crabby, and soon she’s bubbling with stories about our cousin Hedy’s son Michael Weiss getting engaged to his longtime girlfriend Dana. They were all friends together at Michigan, and Anat wonders when she’ll be asked to stand up in this wedding. Anat tells us that Hedy and Michael went to Costco and bought lots of roses, and he went over to Dana’s apartment and blanketed it with petals (while she was at work). They were all in town last weekend, staying at the Cohen’s house; which has the handicapped accessibility they need for Uri, who has been a quadriplegic for over a decade.
Grandma was a little confused about the engagement, because she’d just spoken to Hedy last night, and Hedy never mentioned anything. Janet and I don't say anything because we know how important it is for her to know what's going on. Anat is happy to report that she already has a dress suitable for black tie, and fabulous shoes. I bemoaned the lack of a good summer fancy dress, and Janet offered me one of Anat’s, which Anat tells me is not floor length, but cute. Pinky-purple.
Janet by then had asked for about 3 small plates of Parmigian-Reggiano cheese shavings to go with the bread and olive oil. Anat said that they never once had that when she was with Grandma and Grandpa in Italy last year, in fact, no one had ever heard of it. They all served bread with butter, so the olive oil thing must have been invented here.
Grandpa told us about taking the son of their cleaning lady to the office yesterday, and doing a little mentoring along the way. The kid is apparently very smart, a straight A student, but both his parents work with their hands, as a cleaning lady and a floor finisher, so he has no experience in offices. He told Grandpa that kids sometimes make fun of him for being so smart, which Grandpa totally understood. The advice Grandpa gave him was to respond to taunts by agreeing that he’d made a mistake, or that he’d screwed up. “Always put yourself in position of strength,” Grandpa told him.
Anat told us that she is going to a concert tonight given by the fiancé of her high school friend Lauren. I like hearing about that sort of thing, and asked her questions about the kind of music he plays and how she likes it. The only problem, she said, is that every time she wants to spend time with her friend, she’s sort of forced to go listen to the fiancé play music. We talked a little about her upcoming 25th birthday, and how she might just have family dinner, instead of doing a Habitat for Humanity party, and then go into the city to go out with friends. She just doesn’t really want to organize a party, or make her friends come up north. And the timing is bad because of med school starting, with all the ceremonies.
Grandpa asked Anat if she would treat him one day when she is a doctor, to which she responded, “of course, Grandpa, anything you want.” Of course, she is planning to study radiation/oncology. She told us a little about the upcoming schedule for beginning med school; she is moving up to North Chicago at the beginning of August, and classes begin on the 18th.
Grandpa asked if they should come to the white coat ceremony which happens when you start medical school. Grandma said they would come to the ceremony when Anat puts on the long white coat indicating that she is a real doctor. Anat just smiled and continued eating, and said that anyone who wants to can come to any of the events.
It’s a really busy time for Anat, because in addition to starting medical school, the 8-10th of August is the three day walk to eradicate breast cancer; she and Maya have so far raised about 2700 out of the 4400 needed to participate in the walk. I asked about their preparation, and Anat invited me to join them for one of their three hour walks. I explained that I need to be in shape for the hike David and I are doing from Aspen to Crested Butte in a few weeks. Even though I exercise almost every day and do a lot of walking, that doesn’t prepare a person for mountain walking with all that thin air.
I reminded everyone that David and I are going to Colorado on July 25th for the Wexner conference. We’ll start our hike after the conference ends. I mentioned again that I was sorry to have to miss the unveiling of Uncle Leon’s stone, since no one asked us our schedule, and we’ll be flying back from Colorado that evening after the unveiling.
Anat asked if she could come over later to work, because she wasn’t getting enough done at home. That’s where I’m reviewing our lunch, sitting across from Anat, who is plugging in data from the fertility study she is working on with Ilan Tur-Kaspa. Gabie is reading and making notes on the book he has to read in preparation for seventh grade, and we have just cleaned up a massive flood pouring through the laundry room window, caused by overfilled gutters.

Grandpa and Grandma are already sitting at Hole in the Wall when I walk in just a few minutes after Marty and Matt. Janet comes in then carrying a sheath of papers, followed by Anat and Maya. Two conversations start immediately and it’s hard to follow, so I tune into Matt telling us that Paulie called the night before with news that Hannah had lost her job waitressing and could she work at Banner for the summer. Milt, when he came a while later, said that Paulie was as smooth as usual, saying, “Hannah got fired; can you give her a job?”
Matt said, “So she’ll be starting at one this afternoon, and I sure hope she covers up.” We understood, because at the father’s day dinner she came showing a lot of cleavage, and then we discussed who should be the one to mention it to Hannah. I said that everyone has to learn proper office attire, and she’s a smart kid who will probably pick up on it pretty quickly. Milt said she’ll be doing the same kind of work as Matt, which is searching for land to build on.
Mom told Grandpa that she’d gone to the library to get him some large print books she thought he might like. I said, why don’t you read Audacity of Hope, so you can understand Obama, which started a little political ranting. Grandpa brought up Clinton and Carter again, with the usual disdain, and Mom yelled at him that nobody cares about that long ago; he keeps talking about bad presidents from the past. I said, why don’t you complain a little about Herbert Hoover, or Harry Trumann? Milton told an anecdote about McCain saying on a video that he voted with Bush blah blah blah, and then another video snippet showed Obama accusing him of voting with Bush, and then another video showed McCain accusing Obama of repeating falsehoods about it. Grandpa missed his opportunity to talk about McCain being a hero.
Janet missed that whole discussion, because she had to answer her phone. She told me this might happen; she was waiting for a call from the congresswoman, Judy Biggert, whom she has been educating about Israel as part of her AIPAC job. There is a bill coming up today in congress regarding insurance claims by Holocaust survivors. Germany is trying to block access to the documents needed to prove who should inherit those insurance policies bought before the war. Janet reminded us that of the 180,000 Holocaust survivors, about one half are living in dire poverty. They weren’t able to access their papers apparently while fleeing from the Nazis, or after surviving the camps. Judy Biggert wanted to know how the Jewish community felt about it, and Janet explained, after reading through her documents, that she ought to vote in favor of the bill.
Then Janet returned for the end of the election discussion, and said that McCain has voted with Bush 43% of the time. She often has those kinds of facts at her disposal, which are hard to argue with, so Milton couldn’t really reply.
The kids were still chatting at their end of the table, with Marty, and then Matt spoke up to say that in his few weeks at Banner, he has already heard back on a certain number of properties, and that a few are really close. I told Milton that since Matt did all the work, they should reward him handsomely since there is hardly anything left for Milton to do on these deals. Just sign your name, I said. Of course, now starts the complicated and indecipherable financial maneuvering that Milton excels at, which none of the rest of us understands.
Anat told us that she is driving up to Habonim on Friday, if anyone wants to send anything for Becky’s 19th birthday. Grandma asked if Becky likes cookies, and there ensued a discussion of great cookies we have known. I love those giant Carol’s cookies, and it turns out that Milton knows the actual Carol, so maybe Becky will get to enjoy them this weekend. She hasn’t been feeling great, really she didn’t have much time between returning from Tanzania, recovering from Malaria, and having gum surgery, to recover and be completely healthy. I asked if everyone received my email with her address so they can send her birthday cards. She’s jealous of all the little girls in her cabin who get four or five letters every day.
Lollapalooza, the giant outdoor mega-continuous concert is coming up, and Maya recalled being worried about both my Becky and cousin Becky, who have a tendency to get lost. Anat said that she had a visiting friend who had no cell phone or anything, and she didn’t worry at all when he went missing all day. She talked about her plan for her 25th birthday in August; to get a bunch of friends together and do some kind of Habitat for Humanity project. We all kind of laughed about it, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one wondering where on the north shore were there habitat properties.
Someone told Maya that she looked very tan, and she told us a little about her job as a lifeguard in one of Gadi’s complexes. She sort of runs a little class, while the parents sit by the pool, for the little guys, playing games with them and organizing activities. She told us about her four completely different courses for the fall; she plans on law school so she can major in anything she wants. She declared her major to be philosophy, but her classes sound like they are in multi-cultural studies. One class reminded Anat of her classical musical course at Michigan, in which the professor was such a snob, he kept telling them that he went to Julliard, while Robin Williams was there, but no big deal. And he told the class that only a few rock songs had any merit.
A propos the fact that I am also somewhat of a music snob, Anat told the story about Gabie once singing harmony at the Shabbat dinner table. Apparently she complimented me afterwards about sharing my love of music with him, and I replied that “he was flat”. The word flat is said, in Anat’s retelling, in a sing-song voice with two syllables. We talked a little about the concert Marty and Cindy had taken me to on Sunday night at Ravinia that I had enjoyed immensely. The jazz singer Diana Reeves had started, and she was great, followed by the Manhattan Transfer, whose tight harmonies I’ve loved, but whose sound was off balance. Marty tells me that I turned him on to that group while still in high school.
Janet orders three desserts, none of them pie, so we can all dig in. Milton tells us that Claire is up at camp for a month, but she asked to come home early. They asked her a lot of questions, and it turned out that she remembered Uncle Leon dying just three days before she finished camp last summer. Milt and Ibby made the mistake of telling her that G’Ma, Ibby’s grandmother, isn’t doing well, and that made Claire want to come home. When they told her that G’Ma is doing much better, she agreed to stay longer at camp.
Emily is only there for two weeks; so she isn’t here long enough to have to get a job, and she gets a little camp but not too much. I told Milt that Gabie also plans to return from Cooperstown and do nothing but play baseball a few times a week until he goes away to camp. We started telling stories about when Claire or one of the kids had been spacey, and Milt told us that Claire had her picture in the Glencoe news for raising funds to help animals. She and two little friends had gone around the neighborhood, with no documentation or anything, asking for money. They came back with over $700. Anat had fun riffing on that idea, going around asking for money with no proof of anything.
It was lovely having three of the next generation; they talked a little about their ‘teen club’, in which they meet monthly to go out for expensive dinners with Grandma and Grandpa to complain about us parents. Grandpa leaned over to say that he just loves to listen to them. His favorite saying, of course, is that the purpose of having grandchildren is justice, meaning of course, revenge.

Mom and I arrive first, right at noon, and the others straggle in over the next twenty minutes. We start chatting about the father’s day dinner she hosted, and how Aunt Ruth was as usual busy complaining about various aches and pains, interrupting anytime the conversation didn’t include her, and being generally disagreeable. I tell Mom that David and I will just be flying in on August 3, the day they just announced to be the unveiling of Uncle Leon’s stone. We agree that if our presence was important, someone would have asked first about our schedule before planning such a date.

Dad is the last to arrive, so we’re sitting down, the four of us siblings, plus Matt Pinsky and Mom/Grandma. This week we’re at the Egg Shell, which is a quicker meal than some of the other places. Usually, we order an apple pancake as dessert, but this time no one remembers until it is too late, and we’re all disappointed.

Janet tells us before we order, that Maureen, the wife of our second cousin Bob, is in the ICU; she has been battling lung cancer for months. Matt isn’t sure who she is, so I do a little family tree clarification. Janet had invited Maureen and Bob over for dinner, and she’d been having sudden trouble breathing in spite of being hooked up to an oxygen tank. She is younger than me, and a very beautiful, always strong looking woman. I’m silent for a while, reflecting on our luck, our blessings.

Marty tells us about buying a new car, that his brother in law in the business called him about it the minute it was brought into the dealership. Now he has to sell his old BMW, and Matt wonders aloud if Marty might want to donate it to him. Milton says that Matt can’t afford to own two cars, and we have a discussion about driving at college, which Matt would like to do. Milton can’t stand the idea of him driving the 600 miles out there, but Matt says it would be nice to be able to visit his girlfriend, Lauren, at Maryland, which in any case costs $80 to take the very long and inconvenient bus ride.

We ask about Lauren, and Matt tells a story about dragging her on a bike ride that didn’t end well because she caught him staring at some skaters going by, one of whom was only wearing a towel. He tells us that Lauren is kind of like his mom, and Milt relates how once on the boat, Lauren and Ibby were wearing a similar looking outfit, and agreeing about everything they discussed. That gets us talking about the boat, and I ask Marty about his plans to replace the forty foot motor boat he sold last year. Marty isn’t thinking about it for now, but maybe he’ll look into it next year. He still pays for the slip at Montrose, and we ask if he’s able to rent it out. Apparently, this is illegal; the harbormaster was just canned after raking in a ton of money doing it.

This leads to a discussion about corruption in Chicago; Janet tells us about her childhood friend, a city social worker who now has a bunch of no-nothing supervisors, all appointed by the corrupt Cook County Board president, Todd Stroger. Somehow this leads into national politics, and Milton has surprisingly emerged as an Obama supporter. He spouts a bunch of facts about McCain wanting to raise more taxes than Obama, which riles up Grandpa, who then wants to talk about McCain being a hero. Grandma asks if anyone has seen the Obama commercial with a young woman, baby on her lap, talking to the camera saying something like, “Even if McCain wants us to stay in Iraq for another hundred years, my baby is not going over there”.

“Is that really an Obama commercial?” Milton asks.
Grandma insists that she never said it was an Obama commercial. Milton tells a few more stories that are unflattering about McCain. Janet reminds us that McCain didn’t ask for 100 years of battle, and tries to clarify the situation. Grandpa clearly wants to argue with Milton, but it has gotten late. I ask Grandpa is there’s anything he wants to share with us while we’re all still there. Marty says, “Does anyone here know anything about mentoring?” We all laugh, including Grandpa. It doesn’t bother him that we poke fun at him. We’re all proud that he is still trying to make the world a better place, at age 80. We just don’t want to help!

Then we decide that next week we’ll meet early, at 11:45. Oysy Sushi? No, Janet hates it there. How about the new kosher place, Mizrahi? Too small and it has very slow service. I tell everyone that I’ll let them know. Then, I run to do some errands and get back home to Gabie, who is eating chips in front of the television.

Grandpa and I arranged to meet at Stir Crazy at noon, so I am surprised to receive a phone call from Matt Pinsky at exactly 12:00, telling me that they are sitting down at Di Pescaro. But, after two years of Grandpa Lunches, I’m used to last minute changes in venue, or confusion about time and place. Then I call Janet and Marty to update them, and Janet is running late so she gives me her order.

Matt is working at Banner for the summer, and it turns out that he hates Stir Crazy, so the confusion is a little cleared up. But Janet isn’t all that fond of Di Pescaro, so we will have to compromise over the next two months. There is usually a lot of discussion in determining the restaurant, with some saying anything is fine and others wanting a specific place. Of course, when Anat and Maya join us, they’ll probably want to have breakfast food, so that will mean Egg Shell.

This is the first time Janet and I have seen Matt since he finished his first year at Penn State. We start out by asking him questions about his year. He is so handsome and grown up that we can hardly believe this is the same gawky kid who didn’t know what to do with his long arms. He tells us that Penn State wasn’t a perfect fit for him, and explains how the students are mostly east coast, which he hadn’t realized was so different. He does a mean imitation of fast talking New Jersey kids, and tells us that he would like to pull up his grades in the next year, then perhaps transfer to someplace in the Midwest.

Grandpa listens with a big smile on his face, as usual just happy to be surrounded by some of his children and at least one grandchild. I lean to Matt and say, “Let me tell you what I tell my students when I mentor them.”

Of course, everyone laughs because they know I am poking fun at Grandpa, who has started a foundation for mentoring troubled teens in Chicago. We all know that he is itching to mentor all of his 12 grandchildren, and we guess that he has often shared stories of mentoring with Matt. Nonetheless, I repeat Grandpa-isms with great relish to Matt, telling him that he has to get the grades and call the shots. Matt has apparently already figured this all out, after a fun but not academically brilliant year.

Matt has always had a sweet nature, like his father, but today he is additionally thoughtful to Janet and me, asking if we mind that he orders shrimp. Of course not, we say. Then while helping Grandpa to share a portion of his dish, he says to me: “I’ve used this fork in the shrimp; would you like me to use a clean fork for you?” All of us smile; what great kids we’ve raised in this family!